Gavi's Last Blog (written before the Earthquake)

Jocelyn Writes:

We are in Beijing and it is our last day before returning home. So much has happened so quickly. These last few weeks have been so sad as the impact of the earthquake becomes fully understood. We have not had a chance to fully process these experiences and our final goodbyes to friends and host families.

Below is Gavi's final blog entry written before our trip to Guilin and the earthquake.

Our internet access has been limited. We are looking forward to seeing you all over the coming weeks and sharing our stories with you first hand.

Gavi Writes:

Only once before has an approaching event made me feel so excited and yet so depressed at the same time.

When I arrived here in China four months ago, I was doing everything I could to try to hold on to pieces of the life I had left behind. I listened to familiar show tunes and American pop songs and looked at pictures of the familiar faces of my friends. These and the knowledge that I would soon return home were what kept me going my first weeks here.

Now, with the end of our trip approaching much too fast I am again resorting back to my music and pictures. However, this time the music is Chinese pop and the pictures are of people here in Xi’an. And, I can no longer resort to the reassurance that I will soon return. Though I believe I will return to Xi’an someday, I cannot be sure that I will see my Xi’an friends again. These people who have taught me so much about China and Chinese culture; who have been so helpful and understanding, so gracious, selfless and loving. My friends at school, who have openly accepted me as one of them and have willingly made the hard and frustrating journey over language and cultural barriers with me. The laoshi's, our amazing Chinese teachers, who have gone above and beyond to make us feel at home. They not only taught us Chinese and Chinese culture but also took us out and about and allowed us to experience it first hand. Leaving behind all of these people I have come to love so very much will be one of the hardest things I have ever done.

However there is one thing helping me to get through this transition that I didn’t have before. I left Brookline with my family and 8 high school students. I will be leaving Xi’an with only family. But my family has nearly tripled in size. Though I no longer have the same reassurance that I will soon be returning to the place I am leaving, I now have 8 of the best older siblings anyone could ever ask for; siblings who are going through the same transition, dealing with the same pain, and experiencing the same excitement as I am. This is immensely comforting and I know it will do so much to help me board that plane back to the US.

Today, I as left the Gao Xin #1 middle school for what could be the last time in my life I looked back at the faces of two friends waving goodbye with tears in their eyes. As I made myself walk away I was reminded of a scene not too long ago that was very similar to this one. It was two different faces, and a different school that I was leaving. But it was the same type of tears and the same overwhelming feelings of love and sadness. As I left Gao Xin, my sadness was pushed aside to make room for the excitement of once again seeing those faces of my friends from Brookline. And though I knew the depression and sorrow would soon push its way back in, for the time being I couldn’t have been happier.